


Bloom

by Tinge



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Anxiety, Blood, But also not, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, I mean I guess this is a sick fic??? in a way, Love and Life, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Spring in The Heart AU, figure skating, flowers bloom in your heart, follows pretty close to the original story though, they meet at one point a lot earlier than canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinge/pseuds/Tinge
Summary: Spring in the Heart AU(aka the au where a disease exists that causes flowers to bloom in your heart when you are greatly loved and love greatly- based on the manhwa, Spring in the Heart.)We know flower petals will fall some day, and yet we are entranced by them...A story about Yuuri Katsuki and what is possibly one of the greatest springs to ever come.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I have written for this show and the first I have written in quite a while, so I'm sorry if it isn't written too well, I'll be going back to fix it every now and then making it more detailed and such and just CLEANER. It has been stuck in my mind for a long time now and I finally put pen to paper.  
> .  
> >>> Please support the manwha this is AU based off of, Spring in The Heart, it is currently going through some legal issues that will hopefully pull through in the end for the comic's continuation. <<<

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prologue to the story, Bloom. The prologue features Viktor Nikiforov and his background leading to the setting of the stage for this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Highly recommend that you don't skip the prologue, it explains a lot about the setting and the stuff happening in the story)  
> This is unbeta'd and not exactly clean quite yet but it's a work in progress. Lots more details will be gone back and added on. Enjoy!

It was cold. Winter. Always winter. The sun would rise for a few hours and disappear behind the desolate clouds the rest of the day. An ice age had settled onto the land long ago and cities were frozen over along with their people. Though, saying there was no warmth was a lie. There were heaters, there were people, there were homes, there were gloves. Then there was the warmth in their hearts, the citizens of the frozen land.

The only person they could thank for the warmth inside them was the Flowerness. She had pulled them out of the cold dark world the planet had become with her love, spreading warmth to radiate within everyone while flowers bloomed within her. People learned to love each other because of her and they had become her followers in return. She graced the land and allowed spring to bloom in her wake until the day she died. Not long after, a new person had contracted the disease that made flowers bloom in her heart and she tried her best to fill the position she was needed for, an idol to the world, the 2nd Flowerness. Who she loved, many knew, and many found unfair. But the greatest lady in all the land could not oppose her lover and to fight for her love was in vain.

* * *

  
“Scientists have finally discovered the reason for the disease that causes flowers to bloom in the heart!” The news anchor’s voice fizzled over the hologram.

“The virus is contracted during the time a person is experiencing extreme love with another and the flowers start blooming in the host’s heart, where a seed is planted by the virus that continuously creates spores in the pulmonary vein and grow in the tissue of the left atrium. Strangely enough, the compounds that a regular flower would need to flourish are not needed by the flowers that bloom in the heart, these flowers only need oxygen, iron, carbon dioxide, and oxytocin and vasopressin- the key hormones active when a person feels the emotion of love. The probability of contracting this disease is very low at a 0.2% contraction rate-”

“Sounds romantic, doesn’t it?” A young woman spoke. The voice on the hologram was drowned out by her speaking. The boy in her lap looked up and gazed at her with confusion.

“The idea of spreading love, because you love someone. That has to be a great thing knowing others can understand what you feel. They can feel it too.” Her voice was soft, calm. She gingerly put a hand into her son’s hair and thread her fingers through his silver locks. “The 1st Flowerness really was someone special.”

“Mama, do you have flowers in your heart too?” The boy asked. His mother quickly embraced him in a tight hug.

“Only when I’m with you, любовь моя!” She cried cheerfully.

“And Papa?”

“Mhmmm, him too!” Her hold tightened around his small body and she buried her face in the toddler’s shoulder. “I love you two more than anything in the world!” She muffled into his shirt. “I’d do anything to spend every moment I have with you guys. I really would.”

“...Then why you are in the hospital all the time?” Her arms froze around him at the question. She loosened her hold but did not let go even as the bandages on her arm seemed to tighten.

“No sweetie...It’s not that kind of disease.” Her lips grazed his hair and she pressed a kiss on the growing mess. “But don’t you worry, I’ll be out of here before you know it! Good as new!” She released her son and put her hands on her hips. “Besides! It’s not like I’ve been here that long! Only two weeks!” She pouted at her son causing him to giggle.

His laugh faded away and a calm yet comfortable silence settled over the two.

“But it would be pretty to have flowers in your heart.” The boy shifted in her lap.”The Flowerness must be an amazing person!”

His mother giggled.

“ _That’s_ what makes her amazing to you?”

“Of course! She brings spring!” His eyes shone with wonder when he faced his mother. “I want to have flowers in my heart too!”

“Now now, a disease is still a disease. It’s probably not what you think it is like.”

“Not only is she pretty on the outside, she’s pretty inside too!” His tiny hands clenched in to excited fists, “It’s what’s on the inside that matters most, like you said!”

“Hmmm…” The mother pulled her son closer to her. “I mean I guess you’re not wrong. That wasn’t exactly what I meant by that though.” A laugh slipped from her lips.

“My dear Vitya, you’ll understand it some day…” She hummed contently. Her eyes fell shut as she let her thumb trace circles over her little boy’s hand. How small it really was, huh.

“Oh!” the little boy jumped a little at a thought. “You can come to my skating recital, right? It’s supposed to be lots of fun, that’s what my coach says!”

“I’d love to! That _is_ coming up soon, isn’t it. I’ll make sure I get out of this stinky old place to come watch my little mouse!” That’s right, it was her son’s first recital. She couldn’t miss that!

“I’m not a mouse, Mama!” He laughed.

“Really?!” She made an audible gasp of surprise. “Now that you mention it, you are a bit big to be a mouse… Are you actually a cat?!”

“Noooo! I’m human!”

“Ohhh, that makes more sense!”

“Mama, you’re silly. You always knew that!”

The hospital room was warm and filled with laughter, a different change of pace from the time weeks earlier. Outside the window a blizzard blew mercilessly as the sun shone brightly in the sky during its few measly hours of day. A sad thought came to her mind thinking of how she may not be able to enjoy that light much longer with her family- her love and her life.

* * *

  
“...---the 3rd Flowerness has been missing for over three weeks now-” the hologram hummed.

“Mama.” Viktor knocked on the bathroom door loudly, “I’m leaving before you. Just wanted to make sure you were okay?” It came out as more of a question than a statement. He didn’t receive a reply.

“Listen, I’m sure Papa didn’t mean what he said earlier. He was just... Anyways I know he regrets it a lot. Please come out, he’s worried- I’m worried.”

Again, there was only silence.

Viktor could feel as his heart began to race. She did run into this bathroom earlier, no? This house was unfamiliar to him but it certainly sounded like this door. He reached for the knob with a shaky hand. It was unlocked. It was then that he hesitated. He knew it was wrong to not trust that she was okay. But at the same time he could only sedate his worries temporarily. Is she… No. There wasn’t anything he should have been scared of, he wasn’t a child anymore!

He willed himself to open the door and keep his head looking forward. Looking around he could see a wilted figure in the corner. That was his mother, trembling and curled in on herself. His worries weren’t for naught however. Viktor approached his mom with caution. Kneeling in front of her he held out his hand.

“Please let me see it.” It was a demand, but he tried his best to make it sound like a request.

She shook her head and he noted her puffy eyes that let tears fall from her silver lashes. Her face had sunken over the years and her age was beginning to show through. Her eyes had laugh lines underneath them as well as on her soft cheeks and a crease was noticeable on her forehead now along with the age spots just barely revealing themselves on her pale skin. How long had she looked like the ageless model she had once been was anyone’s question to answer.

“Mama… I can’t help you if you don’t let me.” When he reached for her hand she made no effort to pull away. Instead she used her other hand to thread some of his long strands between her fingers.

“I’m sorry…” she all but whispered.

It wasn’t long until they were at the hospital once more.

“I’ll be rooting for you!” She tried to sound cheery but there was a hiccup in her voice still. She waved from the hospital bed she sat on and he raised a hand to wave back.

“I’d be worried otherwise, Mama.” He smiled at her and passed his father on his way through the doorway. His father nodded at him knowingly before he was sprinting down the hall and hailing a taxi. The Flowerness herself was going to be there! Yakov would have to pardon his tardiness for this, there really was nothing else he could do. He was 17 years old and later that night, he would already be at the top of the figure skating world.

* * *

  
“Did you hear about the 3rd Flowerness…”

“It’s terrible, isn’t it.”

“They don’t seem to live very long at all.”

It was no secret that the 3rd Flowerness had recently passed. The murmurs of this event were the talk of the rink as the Grand Prix Final had finally rolled around once again. The cause of her death was a mystery to everyone as well as it was sudden. All that was known was that her spouse had passed away along with her, and there has gone the spring.

The news was heartbreaking to everyone and many of the programs that day had turned terribly in sorrow. The skaters, the audience, the judges, the citizens of the land had all been thrown off by this turn of events.

“If anyone has the Flower Sickness, we highly advise you to contact your doctor immediately-” an alert had been sounding throughout the land the entirety of it all. It was no secret why it was being aired, a Flowerness was needed, else the frozen land would be difficult to live in once again. The position may as well be equivalent to that of a queen, however it was disguised as the position of a celebrity. Many would jump at the chance to become the Flowerness, so much was promised with it. You would be moved to a fine home and given only the best of luxuries, you could eat real food as compared to the citizens nutrition pills, and, if not had already, the best suitors would be lined up at your door. It was a golden ticket to an early retirement with a divine life that many desired. You were guaranteed and easy life without worry for the rest of your days.

Viktor was the final performance of the day. Headphones on and a clear area allowed him to practice with a somewhat peace at mind. He could vaguely hear the voice booming over the stadium that announced the scores of the competitor before him. That was his call to get to the rink entrance.

Yakov followed him with an intense gaze and held out an arm to hold his warm-up jacket. He took one final deep breath before Yakov started speaking.

“As cruel as it is to say this, do not lose your focus. Don’t think about anything else except your routine. I have faith that you can execute this performance well.”

Viktor simply nodded in response. His head felt light after finally getting his hair trimmed. Golden blades took the ice with sharp carving as he made his laps.

As soon as the music started, he could feel himself lose himself in his routine and everything began to flow. From the beginning to the end he could only smile at the thought of his routine. His mother was watching somewhere in the audience, he didn’t want to let her down. This dance was for her after all.

The routine came to a close and the audience cheered loudly, throwing plush gifts and flowers into the ice arena. He was about to exit the rink when a small, brown, plush dog was thrown in front of him. He decided to take it with him to the kiss and cry.

It was a surprise to no one when his name immediately shot to the top of the board. The day had been ratchet to all but him regarding their routines. But nobody could blame them. It was not a happy day to many.

That night the young skater went out to dinner with some of his competitors. His long time friend and rival Christophe had qualified and invited him out with several other skaters. No drinking of course. They were at a competition!

He retired early claiming he needed his much earned beauty sleep and left. His thermal coat heated him to the core as he walked along the streets back to the hotel. As always, it was freezing outside but he couldn’t be bothered by the winds. So warm! He loved these jackets, self-heating and really cozy. The mittens couldn’t really hold anything glass without it slipping out of your hands, but the earmuffs were pretty nice too! He bought a pair for every jacket he owned and brought several of them with him for the trip to Tokyo. He could have easily moved south like most people had but it was just so busy down there now! Plus he was practically raised on the ice, so he didn’t mind the temperature one bit.

His phone buzzed a few times alerting him with a message. It was from his mother. Scrolling through his messages he opened up her contact and hit the call button. The phone rang a couple times before anyone picked up.  
“Hello?”

“Call me like a regular person!” Viktor laughed into the phone.

“You know I hate phone calls!”

“I’d much rather hear you congratulate me than read it!”

“Hnnn and I sat for so long writing that text…” Viktor could hear her pouting on the other line and chuckled again.

“It’s much appreciated, Mama.”

“...” She held a pregnant pause for a moment. “I’m very proud of you, you know. Very proud.”

“Thanks.”

“Did you see me in the audience?”

“Unfortunately, no. The are-”

“WHAT?! I was in the front row!”

“Haha, now that you mention it I do recall seeing a bright pink blur!”

“That was me, любовь моя. Papa was right next to me too.”

“Wait, Papa came too?”

“We wanted to surprise you after your routine but we couldn’t find you after.”

“Ah, that’s my fault. There are just so many fans and the press is a hassle, Yakov got me out of there as soon as possible.”

“My little mouse is so famous!”

“Yeah, you can say that again. Soon I won’t be able to walk outside without a mask without someone recognizing me. Not that I don’t love my fans. A lot of them are very nice!”

“That’s good to hear. Wouldn’t want my little mouse getting harassed. By the way isn’t it late? I wasn’t expected you to see my message until the morning!”

“I was out with Chris and some other skaters at a restaurant down the road from the hotel.”  
“You were drinking?!”

“No Mama, of course not!... okay maybe a little.”

“Vitya…”

“Not a lot, don’t worry I’m completely sober.”

“Hmmm,” She hummed over the line, she sounded upset.

“Mama, I wouldn’t do anything stupid like get drunk when I have to skate tomorrow you know that.”

“...Are you almost at your hotel? I’m glad you called now so I can at least see you made it back safe.”

“Have more faith in me!” He could have faked the hurt in his tone but part of it was actually genuine. “My hotel is just ahead.”

“Okay, good night, Vitya. I’ll be there again tomorrow to watch so be sure to look for me during AND after!”

“Mmn, Good night.” With that the call ended.

The hotel was finally in sight so he made a break for the front door. Just as he was about to enter he heard someone behind him sneeze. He couldn’t really understand why it drew his attention but he turned around anyways. A young man, probably around 18 or 19, was sitting on the hotel bench under the walkway in front of the parking circle. He didn’t seem to be focused on any single one thing and his knees were wrapped in his arms close to his chest. Viktor figured he still had time before he absolutely needed to turn in so he approached the bench. Snowflakes peppered his coat on the journey between the two canopies but quickly melted away from the thermal radiance. He wasn’t exactly sure if it was how lonely the young man seemed or how familiar the way he came off looked but some kind of fire lit inside him telling him to talk to him.

“It’s a bit cold to sitting out here, no?” Viktor could feel his insides cringe at the sound of his own rough English. He technically knew the language but... it was still a work in progress to say the least.

The man had tousled black hair and when he looked up Viktor was able to see dark chocolate brown eyes peering at him through his glasses. The man gasped.

“V-Viktor?”

 _Ah, he recognizes me_. “Hm? Yes, and you are?” Viktor asked curiously. He could see a flash of hurt in the other man’s eyes before he stood.

“...No one.” The dark haired man said with a low voice.

Without another word, he took off to the hotel, leaving Viktor gaping and confused in the snow.

_...What?_

The next morning Viktor forgot (or rather forced himself to forget) the man that ignored him and continued with his prep schedule for that night’s free skate program. He entered the ice arena happily with Yakov in tow for the morning practice. That is until he saw the very man he was trying to forget on the ice. _Ohh, that’s why he didn’t seem too happy._ Viktor might not have recognized him the night before since his appearance was _very_ different but he could vaguely remember seeing him on the ice the day earlier. He was ranked just a bit below Viktor by the end of the day, Yuuri Katsuki from Japan. He was… an interesting skater. To be quite honest, Viktor did not know much about the other man at all, as he did not know quite a few of the newer competitors very well.

Viktor stepped onto the rink, ignoring Yakov trying to instruct him before he took off towards the Japanese skater. He wanted to make his approach gradual. It didn’t take long for his own deep blue eyes to meet yet again with those curiously lost brown ones. As quickly as his eyes had met them, they had looked away. The black-haired man, Yuuri, moved to the exit and left. It kind of stung, not a lot, but yeah okay it did kind of hurt a lot. Again, the silver-haired man tried to forget.

That night the free skate approached quickly as though it were a threat. The outdoors may have been much harsher but the rink was cold and the adrenaline was pulsing in his veins. Viktor was 22 and he won his 3rd GPF gold.

* * *

  
Four years had passed and there was still no 4th Flowerness. The spring had long since withered away except for the forever flowering graves of the past Flowernesses and the cold had settled upon the land once more.

Many had tried to feign the illness in order to receive extravagant commodities that came with becoming Flowerness but none have succeeded. There was no doubt that a few people in the world had the Flower Sickness, however none of them stepped forward to the position in the past time since the death of the 3rd Flowerness. The world was becoming desperate. It was only getting colder and even though technology is increasing at an alarming rate there is always the worry it may not be able to keep up one day and the world will freeze over completely once again.  
There were places in the world blessed with warmer climates. Mainly towards the equator. Then there were more rare places that had a thaw that many cities did not. These places had been touched by the 3rd Flowerness soon before her passing. The city Viktor had competed in all those years ago was one of those warmer places. He had returned there once more this for this seasons Final. Achieving yet another gold medal, added up to his 6th Grand Prix Final win.

When Viktor was reminded of the banquet, he wasn’t exactly excited so to say. He had gone to this every year and every year it was the same thing. Talking to sponsors and chatting up strangers can only be so entertaining annually. Sometimes if Viktor was lucky, Chris would sweep him to the dance floor and distract him from the droning coaches talking business. But Chris wasn’t always there. It forced Viktor to socialize more than he minded and that was a lot for him. He loved talking to other people, not when they’re putting him to sleep though!

His blue gaze met himself in the mirror as he straightened his tie. Chris was to meet him in the hotel lobby in mere minutes and Viktor could only savor these last moments of freedom the best he could, adjusting his tie as many times as he so pleased. Throwing a glance at the jacket he left on his bed he let himself think.

 _Do I really need to go to this? I have plenty of sponsors as it is. This kind of thing is more for the coaches than the skaters, why do_ I _have to go._ Though, he knew exactly why he had to be there. He was the one being sponsored after all. It was bad publicity to not show up but still ask for money. It was also downright rude in Viktor’s mind. So of course he was going.

A ding chimed from his phone. Thinking it was probably Chris he slung his jacket over his shoulder and made his way to the door. Looking at his phone, he realized it wasn’t Chris, it was his mother.

‘Have fun tonight! NO DRINKING! Love you tons, you did amazing as usual!’ He could feel a smile spread on his face for the first time that night. He quickly typed back a thank you in reply along with a ‘Can’t promise anything’ and his phone chimed with another text. This time from Chris. Now it really was time to leave. No problem for him, he was already out the door. It was a good thing the banquet hall was part of the hotel. His phone chimed again, his mother sent an angry face.

Chris was leaning against one of the marble pillars in the front entrance of the hotel when he met him.

“You kept me waiting shorter than I thought you would.”

“Yeah yeah, let’s just get this over with. Maybe we can try to enjoy ourselves a little?”

“Hmm, whatever could you have in mind?”

“I don’t know, knock back a few and take it outside?”

“I didn’t realize you were a lightweight.”

“I’m not and I’m kidding. As if Yakov would let me leave…”

“I was going to say I couldn’t leave anyways. Well, we can make the most of it until the next time we meet!”

“I wasn’t kidding about the drinks though.”

“Of course. They have some nice champaign every year.”

“And that is all I really have to look forward to tonight, dear friend.”

Before long after entering the hall Yakov had found him and dragged him immediately to the sponsors much to Viktor’s immediate discontent. Even though he could feel himself dying inside with every person he spoke with, he still managed his signature smile and held vivid conversations with him that could bore him to _death._

When the music finally started to pick up Viktor found an excuse to finally leave Yakov.

“I’m going to get a drink,” He told his coach as he tried his best not to sprint away and never look back. He loved skating with all his heart but he was never going to love socializing with sponsors.

Scanning the room in search of Chris or someone, he found Yuri’s blond mess in the middle of a crowd. How odd and very unlike him to not be sitting in a corner avoiding people just as Viktor was planning on doing. The champaign in his hand suddenly entertained him no longer but he still held onto it just in case. It was when the crowd started cheering that Viktor got very curious and chugged the rest of his glass before heading to see what was up. He may or may not have pushed his way through the crowd a bit in the process of getting to the center but it was worth it when he got there. Yuri was _dancing_. And not ballet or any traditional dance Viktor knew he was capable of, he was _break-dancing_ , something he didn’t know Yuri could do. Not only that either! He was dancing with (against?) someone.

“Yuri! What are you doing?” Viktor shouted nonchalantly.

“Shut up! I’m winning that’s what!” The teen responded angrily before literally throwing himself to the ground.

Taking another look at his competitor, Viktor took notice of two things, one: he looked pretty familiar? two: he was really good at hip hop. Like, damn.

Yuri was trying his best for a 15 year old teen because he really very much wanted to destroy the guy with black hair. However, he seemed to falter the moment his competitor started doing windmills and just kinda stepped off into another dance so he wouldn’t collide with him. But then Yuri joined him doing windmills and Viktor was becoming very impressed by his teammate. He took out his phone excitedly to snap some pictures to save the moment. This was too great. A very large crowd had formed and next to nobody in the hall hadn’t at least heard the commotion going on. Some coaches even threw them a glance or two just out of curiosity.

The two were leaping around in somewhat of a sinc with the music, which was rapid beat dance music. They started doing their own thing separate from each other after about 2 songs but they were still in the same circle that surrounded them with excitement. Yuri had finally exhausted himself at some point and was backing off to get a drink. The crowd seemed to groan a little with disappointment but the other man kept going (somehow), which kept them entertained enough for Yuri to sneak out of the area.

Viktor had gotten closer with his phone to get better pictures and watched Yuri leave when he spotted Chris that had come over to the dancefloor finally. He approached him with a large smile and waved. But it wasn’t a wave. The hand immediately went to his back and pushed him out onto the dance floor with the other man. _Oh boy._

In the next moment the music changed entirely. It was [a song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iglm6F7DuE) Viktor was very familiar with and knew exactly how to dance to it. A latin dance.

Immediately he stepped forward to begin his dance. He had this song picked out as one of his possible routines, how could he ever have known they’d play it at the banquet. Though conveniently enough, this could be danced by two people. And it seemed the other person was now looking at him trying to follow. He switched it to a more traditional dance so it was easier to dance with the guy than lead him and that was all it took. They were stepping to the same beat, the same pattern dancing with the music. They were gliding around the floor changing and switching spots with one another and eventually meeting in the middle. Meeting face to face made Viktor finally remember him, this was Yuuri Katsuki. He was competing against him earlier that day.

They locked eyes, blue with brown, and Yuuri lusciously guided one hand down to Viktor’s waste and captured his other hand with Viktor’s own, their chests centimeters apart. Viktor only had a moment to be entranced by the action because in the next second he was running across the room with the other man as his lead. It didn’t take long to catch up with the black haired man’s pace at dance so they could sinc once again. They moved around covering as much space as possible between footwork and leaps. He didn’t realize how much he was smiling until Yuuri spun him and he heard himself laughing freely. He was immediately spun back into the other man’s arms. Those dark eyes met his again as Viktor felt him hooking one leg around his own and the silver-haired man took the opportunity to dip him towards the floor causing the other man to release what was one of the best laughs Viktor had ever heard. On hand cupping Yuuri’s face, he quickly pulled the other man up again and immediately his hands went to his chest. Yuuri grabbed one of Viktor’s arms and spun him around so Viktor could feel his chest pressed against his back. Arms entwined themselves around Viktor’s waist yet again and Viktor could have sworn he was on fire because the touch was hot on his hips as they trailed down and placed a firm hold on him. One leg went in the air and they were moving again across the floor. Viktor took this moment to look at the man’s flushed face. The man most definitely had a few, not that he was complaining, his own face was probably flushed red as well. He was upside down looking at Chris before he could realize he had been dipped. He released one hand from Yuuri’s back to wave and Chris simply winked at him before he was swept away once more. Swept away was the right term because Viktor definitely felt like he was soaring.

One song bled into the next and then the next after that until Chris finally stepped towards the two, stopping them.

“May I request something?” He asked in his most charmful voice. Viktor’s hands that had been on Yuuri’s hips were removed and he took a step back, almost disappointed.

“A competition?” Yuuri questioned. Chris nodded and pointed to something across the room. _Is that?_

“Christophe! Are you serious?!” Viktor shouted surprisedly only to to receive a smirk in return. Well Viktor was most definitely going to die that night because that was a stripper pole and Yuuri- _he’s already stripping?!_

The black haired drunk made eye contact with Viktor, and suddenly it seemed like a very good idea came to his mind. He launched himself at Viktor, literally threw himself at the silver haired man. He started mumbling something in Japanese that Viktor could barely understand and quite honestly could not even focus on because of what he was doing with his hips.

Chris whistled at him and Viktor could help the blush that rose to his cheeks.

“Yuuri maybe you should give the man a little space.” He offered in barely an attempt. Yuuri seemed to consider it but instead threw his arms around Viktor’s neck and boy if it wasn’t hard to breathe before it definitely was now. Not because of the reasons you’d assume either.

“Coach me!” He finally said in English (slurred but still said). Viktor’s eyes widened when he all but pressed his lips to his ear and repeated again, “Be my coach.” His arms loosened around the other man’s waist, setting him down.

“You have a competition to attend to now, don’t you?” Viktor looked down sweetly at the younger man and offered a soft smile. This made the other man extremely content it seemed and he released Viktor from his grasp (regretfully).

“I’ll win for you!” He shouted as Chris prompted him to the other end of the room.

“I hope you do!” Viktor shouted in response.

Viktor was 26 and he had a crush.

Never did they notice the small bud that had sprouted between the cracks on the floor of the banquet hall that there night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> любовь моя (lyubov' moya)- my love  
> The song I imagined them dancing to for Yuuri and Viktor's first dance was Pa' Bailar (Siempre Quiero Mas) by Bajofondo and Julieta Venegas, one of my favorite songs!  
> Also, a note about Viktor's mother. I didn't want to go into detail with graphics but she has very bad depression and she tried to harm herself during this chapter if that was not implied well enough. Why I included this was a bit important to Viktor's background layout and why exactly he approached Yuuri that one snowy evening.  
> I went back and edited a few things but not everything quite yet.  
> The GPF you see Viktor at when he is 22 is actually the one in 2009, Tokyo, Japan, so I'm trying to stick with real world event locations even though this takes place wayyy into the future. This chapter ended at the banquet from canon in Sochi, Russia, which was in 2012 in the show


	2. Petal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri loved to skate for the longest time. Starting from a childhood friend, to being inspired by a celebrity crush- Yuuri Katsuki has faced many confusing things in his life, but nothing like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm back!  
> The beginning of this is a bit of a prologue to Yuuri's past but the story really starts here.  
> Again, this chapter isn't beta'd and it may be a bit sloppy but I am going back to fix errors as much as I can, so sorry!  
> Enjoy!

For the longest time Yuuri loved to skate. The world was so cruel and unforgiving in nature, that ice was the only plain Yuuri believed he would ever see, so he decided to embrace it. In a barren wasteland the world had seemed to have become there was only so much for a person to do. And with open arms it accepted him graciously, however it could turn on him at the drop of a dime to become his worst enemy and he threw himself into the figure skating world knowing this. Never once did he regret stepping onto the ice because it became his life shortly after.

It was crazy how he was so young when Yuuko came up to him practically begging him to take skating lessons with her. He thought it was the strangest thing, he was a ballet dancer at heart and it felt strange to skate at first. Sort of like he was betraying his own art, but he later learned that his ballet would help him immensely in his future skating career. Even when he went to his ballet teacher expecting her disappointment in his decision to become a skater rather than a dancer, Minako’s support almost overwhelmed him. She encouraged him even further to continue being his ballet teacher since it seemed he was so sure of what he wanted. Never before had she seen such a fire in the small boy’s eyes.

Growing up with parents who owned a skating rink had the perks of letting Yuuko and Yuuri practice even after their lessons were done, and they could copy choreography from some of their favorite skaters. It was no question who Yuuko liked best since she seemed to gush about him at a moments chance, constantly shoving internet articles into his face roughly as she ranted about how amazing and talented he was. It wasn’t until she sat Yuuri down to watch the young man compete in the World Championships that the name he had heard so often following a string of praising words, came to a new light in his life. Viktor Nikiforov was his idol and he would do anything to meet him at his level and surpass him.

He practiced relentlessly. Any spare moment he could get to the rink, he was there. Yuuko’s parents gave him his own key after a while for the late nights he would spend practicing and training since it seemed a waste to interrupt him while he was so focused. Just as much and if not, even more often than the time he spent at the ice rink, he was in the studio with Minako perfecting his movements and stretching his abilities beyond compare. His dedication was something nobody could ever question because, man, Yuuri couldn’t see himself in any other place during his free time. It didn’t take long to settle into a training routine he found suited himself, despite the lack of having one single coach to help perfect him. He would head to Minako’s ballet studio first thing in the morning, head home and then leave for school, conditioning at a gym about 2 or 3 days a week for an hour at a time and skating until nightfall or skating then ballet. This was his routine and he couldn’t change it no matter how much his feet blistered or how badly his body ached. Yuuri had a goal, and he couldn’t rest until he made something of himself.

Yuuri had eventually found himself a coach during his college search in the U.S., his name was Celestino. He offered him a contract for his time in college if he came to Detroit for his studies and Yuuri, having caught on to English quicker than he thought he would be capable of, agreed despite the massive student loans he would take out. By doing this, he made a silent vow to not quit skating until he could pay off at least _half_ of that debt. Luckily his grades were above average in the states and the college entrance exams qualified him for merit scholarships, not to mention his skating gave him scholarships as well since he would be training on campus because Celestino was part of the school, and aid since he would be a foreign exchange student, as were many of Celestino’s recruits. These factors cut the price down a lot for him and made studying abroad much less intimidating than it had originally felt when the idea was proposed.

He had to admit, the first semester was hectic as FUCK given his training schedule, which was already full enough but he now had book reports, long research essays, and just loads and loads of work dumped right on him in all of their digital glory after passing the first month of his amazing college experience. Had he not been so busy with skating and ballet and weight training and morning jogs he probably would have been able to handle the workload, but he simply had not enough time, so his days spent off as resting days were also workdays for him so he could lighten the load as much as possible. It was probably during this time that he found himself exploring music more for his skating, but never did he choose the music that his routine would use. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t interested. The artists he listened to were ancient, but all the more legendary composers, he very much enjoyed classical music and a little bit of jazz even, it was fun to move around and it felt more fluid when he was skating than when he was in the dance studio. Because of the bad timing of the college semester beginning, his training for the upcoming and fast approaching competitions began right off the bat from when he first touched down in Michigan. He ended up in the states much earlier than he needed for school, but it was absolutely necessary so he could start training with Celestino, the beginning of the semester would have only left them with a month with each other to prepare. In the end, it was worth it.

Before he knew it, Yuuri had blown through the beginning competitions and found himself in Skate Canada placing on top of the podium, granting him the passage to participate in the Grand Prix Final he so longed to compete in. It was like a dream standing there, the crowd cheering for him and his competitors headed to the Final. Because there is where Viktor would be, his goal, his idol, and his inspiration that allowed him to make it this far. He honestly pinched himself a couple times to make sure that it was real- that it was really happening, the butterflies in his stomach were real and the pounding adrenaline inside him was real. One look at Celestino giving him an affirming nod told him everything. He was going to the Grand Prix Final and he would be competing against his long-time idol Viktor Nikiforov and, hopefully, stand on the same stage as him in the end of it all.

That’s what he was hoping for at least. Headed to Tokyo, Yuuri put his schoolwork in the back of his mind and focused on one thing, winning. He was confident in his short program and free skate routines but he needed to execute them well. This was what he was training for, to get here, to win here. This was where it mattered most to him. Of course he knew that there were more seasons to come for him, he had just turned 19 and was technically new to the senior division, which was full of purely talented and passionate skaters like he was. He shouldn’t get his hopes up but he couldn’t help it, he was competitive by nature. This part of him did not mix well with his anxious worrying side that had slowly formed in due time but he could not compete unless he reached high. In the very least, he had the luxury of being in his home country and did not have to translate spare speaking to his sponsors and competitors, which he rarely did in the first place.

As much as he tried his best, there were still some nerves he simply couldn’t shake and by the end of the first day of competitions he found himself in fourth. It’s not that it was bad, but Yuuri was disappointed nonetheless that he couldn’t get a higher score in his short program. Trying to pull ahead the next day with his free skate would be tough and he was beginning to doubt his ability to do so.

His coach had invited him out to dinner but Yuuri turned down the offer and instead getting the hotel room service to sit alone at least until his coach returned. It was too bad he wasn’t close to many skaters, especially now since he knows just about no one in the senior division- having put off leaving juniors as long as he could. He had met at least one competitor before but it was a brief conversation just to pass time from what Yuuri could tell. His name… Chris or something? Yuuri knew he was here but he was the _only_ one he knew was here besides Viktor. His coach didn’t believe it was very fair to not know his competitors but technically Yuuri knew all of their names (to an extent), shouldn’t that count?

Yuuri sat idly waiting in silence and was quite frankly becoming rather bored. He didn’t feel like sleeping and all he really could do was watch the tv. Standing from the bed and throwing on his coat and scarf, he placed some electronic earmuffs on his head and headed out the door with nowhere in particular in mind to go. He could walk around a bit outside but to be honest he didn’t really favor Tokyo. Had he the choice he would most prefer his home town, Hasetsu. It was too cold in Tokyo, at least in Hasetsu there was some remainder of spring left from the prior Flowerness. It really was hard to believe she had passed away that same day. Today was supposed to be a happy day for Yuuri, but looking back on it now it just seems to be very depressing. He didn’t even want to bother thinking about how cold it will get in due time without her. As much as he spent his time around ice, he wasn’t exactly fond of the cold outdoors. There was always an overcast and the sun shone for a few hours in the morning and even that time may become shorter as the time goes by. However, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of flower the 3rd Flowerness would bloom. Since she had passed, there would no doubt be a flowering tree that would grow in her place, as had with the past Flowernesses. It was never said where their bodies were buried, but there were always videos and holograms of the trees that had grown over their graves and they always glimmered with beauty and radiated life, a permanent spring upon their graves.

He wandered outside and found a bench near the entrance of the hotel. It was a good idea to get some air at least rather than stay cooped up inside all night. The cold air bit at whatever warm skin of his was showing as his face tucked into his scarf. The few snowflakes that had caught on his coat melted away quickly and Yuuri found himself drifting in thought. That day, he had seen Viktor’s performance in person. As though unfazed by the death of someone dear to the world, he performed beautifully as expected. Every leap, every turn, he was gliding across the ice without a care in the world, his mind focused on something else entirely. Yuuri couldn’t help but wonder what Viktor’s inspiration was, if it was something enough to distract him from tragedy, there was a tinge of jealousy towards whatever Viktor had that made him how he was. Yuuri wished he had the motivation Viktor did, because it did not seem to be something that was just purely competitive but something more personal.

But Yuuri… Yuuri was not close with anyone in particular nor did he have anything he really cared about more than his skating. Of course he loved his family and his dear dog, but they were so far from him now. He would have to visit them before heading back to the U.S. if Celestino would allow at least a day with them. Even if he did have a better motivation, though, what would he do after? He hadn’t thought about that all that much besides the “I’ll know when I get there” he’s always told himself but that may be soon. He wasn’t worth much to the world, he was just some Japanese figure skater looking to compete against his idol, and he’s barely even done that once he got there. What would he do if actually won the next day. He never doubted that he wouldn’t win but also never assumed so as well. The very least he knew was that he would be skating until he finished college, that was the deal he made with his coach in the first place. But if he has no motivation… But that would also be assuming Viktor disappeared. It’s not like he would be gone in the next couple years, he hadn’t given any signs of early retirement, as dreadful as it was to think. Beating him in the free skate would not mean Yuuri would win again in the next year, Viktor was too talented and Yuuri was a rollercoaster when it came to performing. All he could do was skate his best as he could the way he was now. He managed to get to the Final and skate on the same ice as Viktor, that was more than he could ask for. And he would fight to keep doing exactly that.

Yuuri felt his nose tickle and sneezed, realizing just how cold he had gotten sitting outside. He ended up not really thinking of anything to do in the end, huh. All the more, what he ended up doing was letting his anxiety act up instead. He had pulled his knees in close at some point and could only be left staring at his small puffs of breath escaping into the cool air. _I should probably go inside._

A pair of shoes stopped to face Yuuri before he could so much as lift his head.

“It’s a bit cold to sitting out here, no?” a man’s voice spoke in rough English.

_Must be a foreigner_. It made sense, there were many people from different countries there that week for competition. His accent seemed thick but Yuuri couldn’t pinpoint the exact kind of accent it was at first.

Yuuri flipped whatever switch inside his head back to English when he realized the man was speaking to him and peeked out above his knees to get a glimpse of the man before him. He could feel his breath catch in his throat before he could barely even process a word. A piercing blue gaze was staring right through him and the man’s chiseled jawline and short silver hair were unmistakable to recognize.

“V-Viktor?” Yuuri’s voice managed to choke out.

All of the sudden his mind was going a mile a minute. _Viktor Nikiforov is standing in front of me. Viktor is standing in front of me. Why is he here? Why is he talking to me? I didn’t do anything, did I? There must be some reason he’s here. Oh my god he is literally right there. Did he want to talk about skating perhaps? There’s nothing else he really would need to talk to me about. I never imagined he’d even approach me but I guess it would happen at some point since we are competing against each other… Does he always look like that? He looks so much better in person it’s kind of intimidating. I mean I’ve always known he was attractive but this is ridiculous! Shut up- Stop thinking about that, he approached you. He probably just wants to talk about… WHAT THE HELL, WHY DOES HE WANT TO TALK TO ME OF ALL PEOPLE!?_

“Hm? Yes, and you are?” Viktor said curiously.

“...”

_...He doesn’t recognize me. Of course. I’m not exactly memorable, why did I even let myself think we were on the same level when we obviously_ are not. It stung to admit, but it was the truth. He knew he should have done better, maybe then he would have been worthy of being remembered.

Yuuri stood letting out a shaky breath.

“...No one.” He let himself speak lowly, trying not to let the hurt show in his voice.

Shutting his mouth, he left the other man alone and headed back through the hotel somewhat hastily trying to get to his room.

_You idiot! That was your chance to talk to Viktor!_ He found himself regretting his emotions getting the best of him but he knew he couldn’t talk to him. If Viktor couldn’t recognize him, that meant he still had a lot of work to do.

The moment the elevator door opened on his floor he could see Celestino standing in front of his door. The coach spotted him.

“Oh, Yuuri. I thought you were in the room already. Did you go out?”

“Not really. Just went outside to get some air for a little while.” Celestino looked at him, a little concerned from what Yuuri could tell.

“You weren’t out there for too long, were you? You’re a bit red in the face, are you okay?”

Was he really that flushed? He did feel rather warm even though he took off his scarf already. He also did get a bit flustered just moments before.

“Ah- I guess I sat out there a bit longer than I meant to.” Yuuri said apologetically. He wasn’t feeling feverish or anything, but he was calming down.

“Okay. As long as you are feeling well in the morning, everything should be fine.” Celestino seemed sceptical but forgiving nonetheless.

That night Yuuri could not sleep well. It was confusing, he fell asleep just fine earlier, no fever, no headaches, just some soreness from skating. But for some reason his dreams were… well, strange. He didn’t usually have such vivid dreams but for whatever reason he could see clearly, feel clearly, but the noises just sounded like he was underwater, they were drowned out. It was warm, and everything was yellow like the sun was surrounding him. He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t speak. Soon enough he was forced to wake up from lack of breath. It was the middle of the night but the lights from the street lamps were shining through the hotel room curtains. Yuuri sat up begrudgingly and was about to close the curtain when he noticed a figure sitting on the windowsill and nearly screamed. Looking over at the other bed in the room, he could see Celestino lying comfortably in bed sound asleep. Then who…?

He grabbed his glasses off the nightstand and turned back to the sill. The figure had moved an inch or two closer to the center of the windowsill, the light from outside allowing Yuuri to see the person’s face. Now Yuuri was _very_ confused.

“...Viktor? Why- How-” Yuuri tried to keep his voice low as to not wake his coach, but it seemed to make the other man toss around a little in his bed. The legendary skater sat silently with a soft smile on his face, simply tilting his head in acknowledgement. Yuuri glanced at his coach seeing him still once again and turned back to see Viktor gone.

Did he imagine it? Possibly… Probably… He should just go back to bed. There was no point thinking about it, he was probably just tired.

* * *

 

Sleeping seemed to had done nothing. Upon waking up and the blinding light shining in his eyes (courtesy of his coach), the moment he put his glasses on he was there again. Viktor was sitting on the desk in front of Yuuri’s bed. _DID HE SNEAK IN MY ROOM OR SOMETHING AND SLEEP HERE WHAT THE HELL!?_

“Viktor, why are you in my room?” Yuuri’s voice was sleepy. He tossed his sheets away. He stood from his bed and crossed the room to where the other man sat with his legs crossed. The silver-haired man made no effort to speak, only smiled and raised his hand to wave at Yuuri. His hair fell onto his face lazily but it seemed way too perfect for someone who just woke up, it wasn’t fair.

“How did you even get in here…?” Yuuri lifted a hand to touch Viktor’s front bangs subconsciously, but the moment he blinked, the other man was gone yet again.

“What the…” Yuuri looked at his hand confusedly and back at the desk, no sign of whatever he saw a second ago. Surely he was imagining things. Why would Viktor come into his room? How would he even get in there?

“Yuuri? Who are you talking to?” Celestino came out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth and freshly showered and dressed.

“Uh, it’s nothing…” Yuuri really didn’t know how to explain what had happened, he himself was very confused. When Celestino looked unconvinced, Yuuri decided to take it up a notch.

“I was trying the new voice commands on my phone… Nothing special.” He tried not to let his voice falter.

“Alright. Well, make sure you’re ready by 8:30, we need to head over to the rink for the morning practice.”

“Okay.” Yuuri could tell Celestino was worried about him, but he couldn’t explain something he didn’t understand. Besides, it seemed harmless anyways. He probably just needed breakfast or something.

Only, the Viktor was at the table when they arrived in the cafe. It didn’t seem like anyone else could see him so Yuuri didn’t acknowledge him this time and just went about his light meal silently ignoring whatever this was.They headed out to the rink after eating but Yuuri got distracted, noticing Viktor was outside the lobby the moment they hailed a taxi. He was also sitting in the empty seat up front as they drove to the rink. Just when Yuuri thought he was getting a break, about a half an hour into his practice, Viktor tries actually approaching him for once since that morning. Yuuri didn’t know if he was going insane or if he was hallucinating or something but he couldn’t concentrate like this. So the moment they made eye contact, he simply decided to leave all together. He gave Celestino a defeated sigh saying he couldn’t concentrate at the moment and if his coach wasn’t worried before, he definitely was now.

“Is something wrong?” His coach brought him to the locker room, which was luckily bare of any people.

“...I honestly have no idea.” Yuuri admitted. “I keep seeing strange things, I don’t understand why, though. It’s been happening all morning, I can’t focus.”

His coach brought a hand to Yuuri’s forehead.

“Do you think you might be hallucinating from illness?”

“I don’t feel sick.”

“You aren’t running a fever either…” Celestino took a step back and brought a hand to his chin to ponder. “Do you think you can skate?”

“Of course I can!” Yuuri said almost immediately.

“Haha, I like the spirit. I don’t really know what’s going on but it’ll probably go away. Maybe it’s just because you’re nervous?”

“...Maybe…”

“Alright. Do you want to go back out there? There may not be much time left but we can try.”

“No…” The truth was he really did want to practice, but the actual Viktor might be out there at the moment, and he was still a bit embarrassed from the night before. He felt bad blatantly ignoring him when he probably just wanted to have a friendly conversation. But, then again, it wasn’t exactly kind that he didn’t remember Yuuri. Then a thought occurred to him. He hadn’t seen the actual Viktor on the ice that morning… What if he accidentally ignored him!? That might have actually been him a moment ago and he was so rude! He would consider asking Celestino if he saw Viktor out there but he hadn’t told his coach much about his admiration towards Viktor. It wasn’t exactly the most normal thing to share about yourself.

As much as he didn’t want to do it, he let it be and left without knowing. He would be seeing the other man that night anyways. Hopefully it would be on the podium together but it was not guaranteed.

In the end, Yuuri wasn’t sure if he tripped up because he was unfocused or if he just wasn’t as talented as he needed to be, he remained in fourth that night. He missed the podium by nearly 5 points. Needless to say, he was unable to speak with Viktor again that night. All he could do was make himself better and get ready for the next season. He was disappointed, but he was also relieved at the same time- he hadn’t wanted anything to end quite yet for him. __

* * *

  
Again, Yuuri could feel himself drowning. Like always, the light was bright but he could hear only muffled voices, he could see clearly, yet not speak a word. Trying to move was useless, everything was almost jello around him and he would get nowhere. He could feel warm hand resting upon his cheek and found himself comforted in the feeling, leaning into the illusory touch. Despite his lack of breath, he felt calm for once in this dream.

Yuuri allowed his eyes to open slowly, keeping the thought of the warm touch in the back of his mind. His vision was blurry and he tried focusing on the edge of the pillow, noticing an entrancing blue gaze staring back at him. Viktor’s hand caressed Yuuri’s cheek with his thumb what Yuuri could imagine was a soft touch. He silently wished he could feel it, but he knew it wasn’t real. The man met his gaze with a warm smile and Yuuri sighed contently. In the next second, Viktor was gone, as he always did. He never did stay for too long. The Viktor would always stay in one place most of the time, not moving around very much and never speaking a word. Always smiling he kept a gentle gaze on Yuuri that Yuuri had found was almost taunting to him now, but he enjoyed it to some extent.

When he had first started popping up it was almost constantly whenever Yuuri let his guard down. There was nothing he could do but ignore whatever this was but it was distracting at times. His “visits” so to say, started to become less frequent after a while but he still showed up from time to time on occasion. He would sit on top of cabinets in his classroom during lectures, countertops and bars when he went out, empty beds, desks, and he was always looking at Yuuri only. His expression did change at times to a more bored and neutral look but he never stayed around long enough for Yuuri to focus on him. He stayed around when Yuuri first met his roommate to the time he got dead drunk in the dorms to when his roommate made him help sneak in hamsters to their room and to when he finally earned his degree as well. Yuuri made no effort to figure out what it was or why he was seeing this Viktor and chalked it down as yet another thing he doesn’t understand about his mind.

So waking up to Viktor laying across from him wasn’t really unimaginable but…

“He’s spreading to my bed now…” Yuuri mumbled. This Viktor had respected some kind of boundaries of sorts that Yuuri couldn’t even begin to understand just like he couldn’t understand the illusion itself. He never showed up in restrooms and never came near the ice rink. Never had he shown up in Yuuri’s bed before either. He was like some strange fungus that kept slowly creeping into his space and Yuuri didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if he saw this thing appear in his bath he might just drown right then and there.

Upon further inspection of his room he realized it had become dark outside and the hotel shades had been blown wide open. The sight of Sochi was stunning all in itself and it was heartwarming thinking about how it took him nearly four years to qualify for the Final again. It was such a beautiful location, he would have felt lucky had it not turned so sour the day of his Free Skate. With the heartbreaking news that his beloved dog had passed away it wasn’t hard to see that the program had all but fallen apart but, to Yuuri, it felt worse than that. Once he was allowed the privacy he had broken down almost immediately. He hadn’t been home in almost five years, he didn’t have a chance to properly say goodbye. He didn’t even want to stay for the banquet after that, but he still had to. Suddenly Yuuri was very awake.

“Shit what time is it!?” Yuuri scrambled for his phone to check the time. It was 23:00. Shit Shit Shit he still had to get ready for the banquet.

He swore to whatever god there was that if this Viktor showed up in his shower now he’d scream.

Yuuri knew the banquet would be boring and did try to prolong actually showing up, but eventually Celestino came to his door asking if he was ready to leave. Yuuri just wanted to get this over with and sadly left the comfort of his hotel room.

Upon arriving at the banquet hall he took immediate notice of the fact that he really was not friendly with many of the people in the room. He knew a few people like the sponsors he had had before (not likely he’d keep some of them after that performance) and he obviously knew the skaters but he just never talked much with anyone besides Christophe. Oh how he wished Phichit had qualified for the Final, he forgot how lonely it was at the banquet the first time he attended it. Yuuri ended up lingering around his coach most of the time, trying not to make his discomfort too obvious (it was hard to hide his complete discomfort). He spied the buffet table subtly, thinking how badly he just wanted to eat his stress away. Unfortunately, he still had to keep up appearances and stuffing your face may have been a bit of bad publicity. Besides, maybe about a fraction of the food there would actually be real. Chefs were able to do some amazing things with the nutrition tablets that just about anyone could afford but real food was always something to take up an offer on if it was available and, of course, affordable. A waiter crossed his line of sight and stopped in front of him, offering a drink. It looked carbonated. Champaign? Yuuri wasn’t exactly a fan of it but anything was better than nothing, so he accepted it.

Glancing around the room, he caught the unmistakable silver hair across the banquet hall. He seemed to be chatting with some sponsors, looking less than happy but still holding a smile. Viktor probably wanted to get away from the sponsors just as much as Yuuri did. And even though he looked visibly uncomfortable, Yuuri couldn’t help but say he looked very sharp in his suit. Very handsome. He got the idea that maybe he can try talking to him again… No, bad idea. He blatantly ignored him the last time the other man approached him. Viktor probably wouldn’t even recognize him. But, then again, he didn’t want to never speak to the man he once looked up to, again. Yuuri honestly wasn’t sure if he even wanted to skate again in the next season. He might just be… done. He hit his peak a while ago, he should probably turn in finally and retire. So, depending on his decisions soon to come, this might have been his last chance to properly speak with the man. But if he was going to do that… He eyed the table that the waiter had grabbed the champagne glasses from… He was going to need a lot of liquid courage. He didn’t want to be dead drunk talking to the guy, but he needed a bit of something more than just one glass.

Yuuri sat idly by the table of champagne switching between thoughts of whether he should actually approach Viktor or not. He found himself picking up glass after glass and had eventually lost track. Realizing he was beginning to sway, Yuuri had completely forgotten why he was over at the table in the first place. Saying fuck it, he grabbed the bottle of champagne and drank from it without a care for how people were looking at him strange. The music was finally starting to pick up and everything became blurry from there on. Catching fractions of the people around him every now and again, he thought he was spinning. He was on the dance floor at some point but after that it all became blank.

 

All Yuuri could think was how badly his throat burned and how much his head was absolutely _pounding._ The blankets felt hot on his burning skin as well as the pillow his head rested on, and kicking them off just left him absolutely freezing and regretful. At some point or another he must have gotten back to his room somehow because he was back in his bed, regretting life itself. He had no idea how much he drank the night before but it must have been a lot. And considering he hadn’t even eaten beforehand, it must have been a quick downfall.

Trying to sit up only made his head spin even more and nausea settle inside him. He promptly laid back down with a painful groan and that in itself was a mistake because the burning in his throat suddenly became ten times worse. It came to his attention that he couldn’t even breathe anymore and became panicked and jumped out of his bed, running for the bathroom. Collapsing before the door of the bathroom, he grasped at his throat, clawing at it to no avail to lessen the choking sensation. He held a hand to his mouth as he started sputtering and coughing like hell, all but vomiting right there. Luckily, he could finally breath again and was letting out shaky puffs of air. Whatever had been in his throat seemed to have cleared itself, but it wasn’t bile like he had thought it would be. In fact he stared at his trembling hand in terror. It was covered in blood- he coughed up _blood_.

Getting to his feet with knees that almost felt like jello, Yuuri made his way back to the nightstand and grabbed his glasses. After multiple attempts at putting the glasses on his face he again inspected his hand that was now held a disturbing red in his palm. The glasses made his head ache instantly but he couldn’t care about that at the moment because he felt himself sink back onto the bed. His hands clenched, worried, scared, terrified. His life up until then had been confusing enough but now… Now this was just becoming downright ridiculous! His fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly as he tried to calm himself, taking slow, deep breaths. In... and out…. In... and out…

His stiff joints loosened and he felt himself relax as he sat on the bed’s edge.

“What the hell is this supposed to mean…?” His voice was raspy and cold.

Yuuri opened his hand slowly once more, staring at the crumpled flower petal stained with red resting softly in his palm.

Honestly, what else was life going to throw at him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Everything it picking up finally and this is where the story begins.  
> Leave a comment and/or kudos! It's very encouraging!  
> My tumblr is stillalive-art if you wanted to stay updated on this fic or just check it out for fun. You do you.  
> See you next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Updates may be a bit scattered but released somewhat regularly unless otherwise noted. Sometimes schedules don't work for me.  
> Leave a comment! Or a Kudos! Tumblr is stillalive-art, follow for updates and such!


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